It was a member of the British Special Branch, mindful of past lapses of security at Windsor Castle, who first noticed that both Gordon Brown and Carla Bruni-Sarkozy were missing at the same moment during last month’s state visit. What was going on? Was it coincidence? Surely the first Lady of France, who is on record as saying that ‘monogamy is boring’, could not be canoodling with the British Prime Minister? Incroyable, ça. It turned out that Carla had slipped off to the Ladies’ for a quiet cigarette whereas Mr Brown had got lost in the endless, almost identical corridors of the castle.
No, Carla and Nicolas are deeply in love, there can be no doubt about that. The French President is like the cat who got the cream; he goes about completely distracted, cancelling important political meetings at the last minute, a middle-aged man unable to believe his luck. Carla claims to be equally besotted and demonstrated this at a lunch for 120 of Britain’s most important women. Handed a mobile phone and told that Nicolas was calling, she whispered a series of intimate remarks into the mouthpiece that came to an embarrassing climax only when the caller managed to interrupt and explain that he was actually the President’s bodyguard: it was his phone that the President, standing alongside him, wanted to borrow.
Sarkozy’s own mobile, it turned out, had been all but confiscated for the entire visit by the French civil service, fearful of a worse faux pas than had occurred during his meeting with the Pope. The French President, kept waiting momentarily by the pontiff, had started to check for messages and was actually in the middle of texting a reply when the Pope arrived. It was simply de rigeur at dinner with the Queen to leave one’s mobile behind. Carla, in an unguarded moment, confessed that she had also told her husband to keep his hands by his sides. Aware of his tendency to wave them furiously about, she was worried that – horror of horrors – in his enthusiasm he might actually hit the Queen by mistake.
The French President, according to one report, described the Queen’s French as “fluent, but old fashioned”, rather overlooking the fact that his English remains almost non-existent, despite its importance in the world of diplomacy. Carla, by contrast, speaks almost perfect English in a deep, husky, Jane Birkin-like accent and even teased her ladies’ audience by pretending to stumble over some English phrases and turn them into doubles entendres.
Where, however, the President’s new wife captivated her British audience as only Jacqueline Kennedy and the Princess of Wales had ever previously managed to do, was with a fashion offensive. Her wardrobe for the visit, created by British designer John Galliano for Christian Dior, produced gasps of admiration wherever she went. Carla in belted coat and tilted beret on arrival was followed by Carla in midnight blue at the state banquet and Carla in a red silk muslin gown with cascading mille feuille ruffles at the Guildhall, always complete with the essential Dior fashion accessory, a glossy black leather handbag known as “the Babe”. Its publicity value to Dior can be measured in millions; its retail cost an estimated £30,000. The French press, still paper tigers compared with their British counterparts, have not yet summoned up the courage to ask whether Carla intends to give it all back.
From our April 2008 e-newsletter
